Thursday, March 27, 2014

Everything Burns

So, its been a while.
Feels like forever.
Literally.
I'm trying to get my head in order.
But with all this testing and the like, its so very hard.
What more could be wrong with me?
Half the time its all in my head and the other half, its mysterious and no one can pinpoint it...
Can I get a straight answer?
For Gods sake, even just saying 'Sorry, its cancer' would be better than 'Oh this is strange...'
*angry noises*
Anxiety doesn't help...




I feel like I'm walking on egg shells.
I try to be careful with what I say because I don't want to offend or annoy anyone.
But I constantly feel like people are offended or annoyed...
I apologise constantly because I don't know what else to do...
And if I do something I think is wrong, I feel guilty for days...
And then there is this crush...
Goddammit I wish I could just get over it...
But the cute smile and the laugh and the stuff and the things...
Blergh...
Head, please stop now...
I'm confused enough, just give me a moment of clarity...
Please?
Is that too much to ask?
Sorry, how about just make something make sense.
Or how about delete that file called "Feelings and Emotions" for a while?
Sure, being happy is excellent and all, but right now, confusion is much less than fun...
What more can I do?

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