I feel dead inside.
Like, emotionally drained.
To the point of physical exhaustion.
I'm also sick of feeling this way.
I'm sick of the crying.
I'm sick of the panic attacks.
I'm sick of lying awake, wishing impossible things.
Ugh...
I want to be irrationally happy again.
I want to feel at ease meeting people.
I don't want these random bursts of anger.
I feel like tearing my hair out.
And throwing text books everywhere.
Also doesn't help that someone decided it was their place to spread secrets and lies.
I swear, I'm gonna explode.
I really don't know what to do.
Like, I wanna scream, cry, yell, break stuff, laugh manically, destroy everything...
But I don't want to be upset anymore.
I want to be strong and all that.
I want to get over EVERYTHING.
And live my life happy.
I would also like to be able to at least push this crush to the back of my mind.
She's sweet and it's nothing against her, but I am more than aware that nothing will become of it ever due to circumstances.
I am pretty useless at the moment.
Wallowing in self-pity.
I really just want everything sorted.
Because then I can finally relax.
<3
