Why?

This is pretty much gonna be my only post that isn't song titled.
Mostly because this is a RAGE.
Know why?
You can tell how your year will go by how it starts.
And I've just found out that my work hours have been cut.
Joyful.
Not like I NEED MONEY OR ANYTHING.
And I feel horrid.
Like I'm stuck under water.
I can't breathe or think.
I just want to sleep.
I mean, the only reasons I get up is because I have to either work or my fiance wants to spend time with me.
I am trying so hard to stay strong but honestly I feel like I'm breaking apart.
And the cracks are showing.
I don't know how much longer I can hold it all in before I breakdown...
I'm losing it...
And yet no one seems to notice...
I don't want this year...
I really don't...
I don't want the one year anniversary of my uncles death to happen...
Nor the one year anniversary of my work mates passing...
Or me failing to make it through my paper...
Or any of that...
I wish I could avoid this year, but I can't...
I really want to talk to someone, but I hate to burden anyone...
I don't like to bother anyone...
But I can't do this anymore...
I thought that ignoring it would mean I could carry one...
But I can't...
I'm too depressed...
And I don't know what to do...
I don't want the world to see me...
I don't know if they'd understand...
I'm falling to pieces...

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