45

This is bad.
I'm having daily panic attacks.
I feel on edge constantly.
I shake almost non stop with pent up anxiety.
How the hell am I supposed to survive another five years?
I'm gonna break into pieces.
I want help.
I want people to talk to me and treat me normal and accept the fact that I suck at talking but it doesn't mean I want to be alone...
Or ignored...
Or forgotten...
I feel like I'm staring down the barrel of a gun.
I'm terrified of anything going wrong.
God, I get nervous even considering it...
I really don't know what to do.
What do I do?
I really just want to talk to people and have friends and laugh and hang out and shit.
But I can't cause I'm terrified of everything.
And I feel like I'm not noticed.
I feel like I'm in the background.
Please, I just want to be included...
Accepted...
I know I'm not popular, I'm not "pretty", I'm not anything...
But I care.
And I'm loyal to a fault.
I would do anything for anyone I call a friend.
Even if they wouldn't.
I like seeing people happy, I like to make someone smile.
I care.
I do.
I promise I do.

<3